The key is to fight harder when it seems like it's all over

I chant in tears as dry as a New Mexico Arizona riverbed. I chant in pain. I chant in nausea. I chant as I almost pass out and drop to the floor. But I will never give up. I will never give in. I will not allow the devil the defeat of me that he savors. I will win.

Written Wed 8/4/10

Postscript Sat 8/7/10: I had a great Saturday today. I feel really good.

It's The Little Things that Push Our Buttons

1.Now that I've been able to to move forward with the realization that the supreme evil—my slander of the Law—is one (while being two) with my enlightened self—one of the vicious ordinary hells—that of anger and rage erupting from relationship stupidity—is erupting worse than Hawaiian volcanic lava—and I'm chanting to find it's enlightenment but as yet all I'm seeing is Chinese letters going down a scroll and the voice of an enraged man chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Sometimes it's the lesser evils that attack us the hardest.
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Postscript: A few daimoku later: As usual, i realized that we were arguing over bullshit, not anything real, you know, nickel and dime, dollars and cents bullshit, not affairs of the heart, but the kind of bullshit our present system puts 99% of us through, using a multibillion dollar marketing campaign to do so, while the other 1% stupidly wastes their time reading the Dow and going to pieces over its rises and falls daily. So I gave her a hug and all is better. This is indeed, a much lesser evil than supreme slander. But it's hard to tell a homeless or unemployed person that when they're in the throes of it. Chant for Victor, my neighbor with the sheet metal business who says he has not time for anything other than walking the dogs I see him with every morning. I'm hoping to awaken in him the confidence that he can go to an SGI picnic on a Saturday afternoon and his business will still be okay, maybe even better.

When it comes to life, there are no baby steps

Life gives you absolutely no training unless you are one of the billions of mindless clones. If you are a free individual, your only hope is a parent or teacher who understands life who can train you with baby steps. Because life, sure as hell (which is its largest aspect of the 10 in its pyramid structure quantification of hell to Buddhahood in the time of the Latter Day of the Law until kosen-rufu is achieved) ain't gonna give you anything less than full-speed giant steps. And you've got to learn fast. In most cases, you're probably best off at the mercy of life. Because most parents and teachers are dead wrong, having been trained themselves by people who are dead wrong.

America's Great Yet Unbelieved Mission

"From the Writings of Nichiren DaishoninFriday, August 6, 2010: Though numerous, the Japanese will find it difficult to accomplish anything, because they are divided in spirit. In contrast, although Nichiren and his followers are few, because they are different in body, but united in mind, they will definitely accomplish their great mission of widely propagating the Lotus Sutra. The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, page 618Many in Body, One in Mind Written to the lay priest Takahashi on August 6, year unknown"

This passage holds the key to why the United States of America is the place for kosen-rufu, the widespread accomplishment of a change in the human mind from a warlike, limited and depressed/cynical view and lifestyle to a peace-rich, limitless and positive/challenging view and lifestyle--because whereas the Japanese are same in body but not always the same in mind, Americans are very different in body, coming from all over the world seeking, in one mind, the greatness of a better life and a better and more inclusive and embracing dynamic. This one, united mind, namely that "all men [and women] are created equal", ever striving "to form a more perfect union", not a perfect union that just stays as it is but one ever improving, "more perfect" than the previous perfection--that is the "one mind" of which the Daishonin speaks. Let us never let this torch go out, which is the key to our accomplishing and leading the way for kosen-rufu in America and throughout the world. America today is like China at the beginning of the Middle Day, a totally Confucian country, with some touches of Taoism, at the time that Buddhists seeking to spread the great teachings of their mentor ventured across the treacherous Himalayas armed with their idealism. But the Chinese viewed Buddhism as a foreign religion, alien to their country and found no use for it. Obviously, history shed a very different light on it than was apparent at the time. America's mission is far greater than any of the Buddhist countries of the past, India, China, Japan or the other Asian countries--America's mission is to completely change the thinking and living of the human race as it's never been changed before. What has occurred in our initial 235 years is merely prep work, laying the foundation. The true great drama and glory will be seen when all the citizens of the United States of the World are living truly free because they have all unearthed from their life the endless fruits of supreme wisdom.

Even Slander of the Law Contains Enlightenment

1.Written 8/5/10, middle of the night, early morning, while doing ox-tiger gongyo: This is very important, a key change in my being: While I chant, I feel my slander of the Law doing intense battle with my enlightened self, which, me so immersed in the slander, feels like it(my enlightened self i)'s someone else outside myself. And at that moment, I feel the enlightened aspect of even my intense slander, and then I am calmed somewhat—slightly. (This was added 8/5 later that day in the afternoon:) And that cause plus the realization has morphed into a great change and I feel good at work and totally good about everything I am doing. It's not only ordinary hell that contains Buddhahood. It is even the worst hell—slander of the Law itself—that contains the best Buddhahood—the Buddhahood of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. But you'll never understand this unless you chant through your slander without trying to suppress it.

You asked me why I hate Obama?

You asked me why I hate Obama? I was in the middle of a depression as thick as miasma when I read your comment and so could not respond then. But I went to a Soka World Peace Gongyo meeting since then which was amazing in the report from Rock the Era and the encouragement and determinations of the youth, including the over 36ers, so I can respond now. I don't hate Obama. Did Josei Toda hate his delinquent disciples who persistently didn't get the vision of real change in the human condition that Toda understood? Of course not. He scolded them because he didn't want their lives to be in vain, wasting all their efforts on a lesser vision of reality and what really can be possible for humanity. They compromised with the harsh aspect of reality because they didn't understand their own power. I hope you understand through this why I admonished our President and public servant, Barack Obama, in my signature to his recent online birthday card, in the hope that he will throw off the transient and provisional aspect of his understanding of reality and stand up to the demons permeating and controlling Washington so that he can truly serve the people of America and the world with the virtue of sovereign, which is nothing other than to protect the people from harm by standing up to evil. But I fear that it is us, the Soka Gakkai members alone, who can truly be trusted to fulfill and embody this virtue of sovereign. Only when a lion roars can the bowels of jackals be counted on to rot so that they don't harm other living beings.*
*The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin - Vol. 1 - Page 494 LETTER TO THE BROTHERS http://www.sgilibrary.org/view.php?page=494&m=1&q=bowels%20rot